Dear Sir or Madam,
We thank you graciously for contacting the offices of Dr. Daria H.H. Greg & Co., where your fortune is our business. Please be assured that we will attend to your correspondence with the utmost diligence and alacrity.
At this time, we regret to inform you that Mr. Verulam is presently abroad for the indefinite future. If the matter is both delicate and urgent, and requires his immediate attention and unique expertise, he may best be reached by contacting Eric "Badger" Rushgour, our agent abroad in Kampala. Simply give Mr. Rushgour your personal client identification number and the details of your situation, and he will ensure that Mr. Verulam receives intelligence of your proposed venture as soon as is humanly possible.
If your circumstances are rather more perilous than you should deem comfortable, or communication abroad is impossible, you may find our district offices in Regent Street no. 12, Westminster. To gain admittance, simply knock thrice and ask for Tamerlan N. Aquilar.
As always, we appreciate your business, and hope to remain your first choice in overseas expeditionary ventures and acquisition of rare commodities.
Your servant ever,
Dr. Daria H.H. Greg, M.D., D.Ph., D. Litt.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
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