Dragut Corsaro Di Barberia

Is this not the most sad and hapless looking gentleman you have ever seen? He looks like someone has just run over his dog, walked all over his favorite bed of geraniums, and told him that his turban looks stupid. If you actually did any of those things, though, you would likely end up as a fine mist of tiny, wet flesh-gobbets, because this man was Turgut Reis. One of the most feared Turkish corsairs of the 16th century, Turgut had a knack for projectiles and was trained from the age of 12 to be a cannoneer. Going to sea with Admiral Sinanüddin Yusuf Pasha, he quickly achieved his master's favor by being really good at hitting other ships with cannonballs-- an excellent skill for a buccaneer. So, the expression on his face is probably more like, "Aw, I'm sorry, man. You knew that if you trampled my flowers, I was going to have to blow you to smithereens. Why'd you have to go and make me do that?" The expression may also show his resigned incredulity at his own ironic death in 1565, which came on the swift wings of a lucky cannonball, fired all the way across the Great Harbor by Knights of Malta defending their island fortress from Ottoman invaders: "Dude, seriously? All the way across the harbor... I mean, what are the odds? Huh."